The more love the better

Garry Hertzberg.

It is important to explain right off the bat that polyamory is not what the majority of people think it is. Polyamory is the belief that a person is allowed to have multiple intimate relationships with other people if given consent bu his or her predominant partner.

However, only once one unravels the meaning of ‘intimacy’ can one truly understand what polyamory is. Intimacy need not be sexual and these relationships can be based on common likes or dislikes, emotional support or an exploration of one’s sexuality. Of course intimacy often does involve sex, but this is only a small piece of the pie that is polyamory.

It is quite outlandish to think that this concept works in the real world. We, as humans, tend to be jealous creatures and the idea of our partner having another intimate relationship can be unsettling.

However, polyamorists view relationships differently and they see multiple relationships as an opportunity to find more love. Many married couples have close friends who they confide in, more so than they do with their own husband or wife. In some small way, this, too, lends itself to the ideals of polyamory.

It goes without saying that polyamorists view marriage differently. When one looks at the divorce statistics worldwide, one tends to think that polyamorists may have a point. Polyamorists have open relationships with their partners and they are unapologetically honest about whom they are dating. This eliminates the cheating and lying that has become so common in monogamous relationships.

Polygamy is recognised in South African law and many men, including our president, have multiple wives. This is very different to polyamory where both men and women have multiple relationships. There are, therefore, equal opportunities for both men and women.

The moral of the story is that polyamorists believe that relationships have evolved to the point where the only goal is quite simple – love. They feel that if this love comes from more than one person then so be it, because one can never have too much of it.


Garry Hertzberg

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